We’ve all heard it before: “I just want something simple,” or, “Don’t make a fuss over me.” It usually comes from a well-intentioned parent or grandparent, and usually said in an off-hand manner. Many times, that’s the only conversation you’ll ever have with your loved one about funeral planning. Perhaps you’ve even said this yourself.
No one wants to be a burden to their family. At Chapman Funerals and Cremations, we’ve been helping Massachusetts families plan funeral arrangements since 1862. In those 160 years, we’ve heard many people echo the same sentiment: “Dealing with death is hard, and I don’t want to make it harder for my family by inflicting elaborate funeral planning on them, so I just want something small and simple.”
Preplanning your own funeral arrangements is what truly saves your family from shouldering the hardship of funeral planning, no matter the size of your funeral. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying or thinking “I just want something simple,” here’s what you need to know.
Is Any Funeral Actually Simple?
The truth is, there’s no such thing as a simple funeral. When you don’t preplan your final arrangements, even the smallest service can become an emotional and financial burden for your loved ones. There are so many decisions to make for every step along the way, and when your family is struggling to decide between burial or cremation, or between a viewing or a celebration of life, they don’t get the chance to properly grieve. The rhythms of their lives will be disrupted by your absence, and they won’t have time to right them through healthy mourning because they will need to figure out what it is that you would’ve wanted. Even if they’re planning a small service, their lives will become complicated by the emotional burdens of funeral planning.
What If I Do Want A Simple Funeral?
Even the smallest or most informal funeral can be a meaningful way for your family and friends to gather and mourn. Perhaps you’d like a small gathering followed by cremation. Or maybe you’d prefer only a graveside service, followed by burial. A modest service can go a long way in giving your loved ones a chance to remember you and gain closure. But there are still many decisions to be made along the way.
For example, what would you like to be buried in? Would you prefer a simple wooden casket, or something more elaborate? Where would you like your ashes scattered? Do you want them scattered at all? Perhaps you’d like your ashes to be buried, but in which cemetery? Maybe you’ve imagined your hometown pastor presiding over your funeral—does your family know how to reach him?
There are many expected and unexpected questions that arise when planning a funeral. Your family might know the answers to some, but for others, they will feel at a loss.
Does Preplanning Really Save My Family From Making Funeral Arrangements?
When you preplan, you decide everything. Not only can you definitively decide that you want a simple funeral, but you can make every decision yourself, put it on paper, and even prepay, so your family doesn’t have to do anything when the time comes. They will be free to mourn your passing, and find comfort in knowing that you loved them so much that you considered how they would feel in this moment, and did everything you could to care for them.
When you preplan, you give both your family and yourself peace of mind. Your family will have the freedom to mourn, and you will know that your funeral will be exactly as you want it. You can design a funeral service that is a true reflection of who you are. That way, when it’s time, your family can feel comforted by your presence and unique touch.
Chapman Funerals and Cremations on Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard, and the South Shore area makes it extremely easy to begin planning. With an online tool, you can plan from the convenience and comfort of your own home. Or you can choose any of our locations on Cape Cod and the surrounding Massachusetts area to sit with a funeral director and have them guide you through the process. If you’d like to learn more or start planning, we're always available.