Cremation has become more common than ever, and more and more families are choosing to arrange direct cremation services for their loved ones. However, families still have many questions and misunderstandings about the process. One of the most common misunderstandings we see is a belief that cremation takes the place of a funeral, or that it’s impossible to have a funeral or memorial service with a cremation.
In reality, the method of disposition does not affect your ability to hold a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. In fact, choosing cremation allows for more flexibility in how and when a service is held. A funeral can occur prior to cremation, with your loved one’s body present. Or a memorial service can be held after cremation, with or without their ashes present.
Whatever you decide, it’s important to come together as a family or community to honor the departed.
Funeral Gatherings Play an Important Role in Grief
People have held memorial gatherings of some kind for their departed loved ones for centuries. Chapman Funerals & Cremations has served Cape Cod area families for more than 150 years, and funeral directors have seen firsthand the power of coming together to remember and heal.
Opting not to have any sort of funeral or memorial service can be damaging to the healing process because it does not allow for shared grieving or a chance to say goodbye. Sometimes the closest family members have had an opportunity to say goodbye at a loved one’s bedside or immediately following the loss, and they may feel like that’s enough or that holding a formal gathering would be too painful.
But when someone dies, every life they’ve touched deserves the opportunity to grieve. You may find that skipping the funeral forces you to have dozens of “mini” funerals at unexpected and inconvenient times. Every time you encounter a friend at the grocery store or call a distant relative for the first time after a loss, they will naturally want to bring up what happened. It’s often better to hold a gathering so that everyone who wishes to attend can share their feelings and memories and begin healing from their grief together.
A Service for the Living, to Honor the Dead
It is true that planning a service in the midst of grief can be difficult. There are many decisions families must make about the service, and many of those decisions involve guessing at what their loved one would have wanted. It can place a great amount of pressure on everyone involved.
Many families simply decide that the burden is too heavy, or they think, “My loved one wouldn’t have wanted any of this fuss, anyway.” But we believe firmly that the service isn’t just for your loved one. It’s for you. It’s for your family. And it’s for everyone whose lives were touched by your loved one and wants to mourn and pay tribute to them in kind.
You Have Service Options
Cremation does not preclude a meaningful service. Do you want a traditional service at a house of worship or funeral chapel? We can help you organize one. Does a small celebration of life at the local pub better reflect your loved one? We can help you think through those details as well while planning your loved one’s cremation.
Regardless of the form it takes, a gathering can be an invaluable source of comfort for you and your family. You will be able to draw on the love and support of others who miss your loved one. From stories and memories shared to tears shed and hugs exchanged, a funeral provides an environment where healing can begin to take place.
Cremation services are an important decision, and a deeply personal experience for those saying goodbye to a loved one. We are always available to answer any questions you might have. Call us at any time at one of our funeral homes nearest you.
Feeling overwhelmed with the options and decisions that accompany a loved one’s cremation? We’re here for you.