For most of human history, death was a community affair. When a community member died, their friends and neighbors would gather to support the family with food and flowers. They’d help with digging the grave, preparing the body, carrying the casket to the cemetery, and providing support to the family members left behind by a loss.
These days, we live more isolated lives than our ancestors. We pay for many services instead of bartering for them, and we don’t always know our neighbors. But when a loved one dies, we still benefit from the love and support of those closest to us.
Loss can be lonely and isolating. Sharing grief lightens its burden and promotes healing. That’s why we recommend holding visiting hours for your community when a loved one passes away.
What Are Visiting Hours?
“Visiting hours” refers to a time set aside for family members, friends, or the community to come together to mourn a setting less structured than a funeral. This visitation usually happens right before the funeral service.
In some cases, the body may be present for viewing, allowing guests to pay their respects and say goodbye in person. Other families might choose a separate private viewing and a more public visitation. Either way, visiting hours create an opportunity for family members to receive condolences and for the public to pay their respects.
The visitation provides a dedicated time for people to address your loss, offer their support, and share memories or stories. Without this opportunity, people will need to share their condolences whenever they encounter you, often not in a time or place that is convenient for you.
We believe it is better to have one gathering rather than scores of mini gatherings at the grocery store, dry cleaner, Little League game, and other times in life when you might not be prepared to confront grief.
What’s the Difference Between a Visitation and a Funeral?
As we said, a visitation is an unstructured opportunity for loved ones to gather and mingle after a death. Visiting hours provide a window for those interactions, but they are otherwise not structured.
Funerals, on the other hand, are more structured events. They are led by a religious leader or funeral celebrant and may incorporate prayer, eulogies, and storytelling about the deceased’s life. Guests sit quietly and listen, rather than mingling and talking.
Both a funeral and a visitation fill an important need for grieving families. They both provide a place for releasing emotions and providing catharsis and the start of healing. But funerals fulfill a need for ritual and, in many cases, religious practices. Visitations are more about one-on-one bonds with others who share a loss.
What About a Wake?
Some people may use “visiting hours” and “wake” interchangeably, depending on their religious background and culture. A traditional Catholic wake has many things in common with a visitation. However, the wake may also include prayer and religious readings. Some cultures also incorporate food and music in the presence of the deceased’s body.
Another cultural version of a wake is the Jewish tradition of “sitting Shiva,” where immediate family members observe seven days of mourning after a loved one is buried. Visitors will call on them at home to offer condolences and bring gifts of food.
Other cultures have similar practices. The specifics of visitation can be very personalized, but the general idea is common throughout history and across the world specifically because it is so important.
The Comfort of a Gathering
Visiting hours are an important way for a community to come together, share stories, shed tears, and find solace in one another. They allow us to remember the departed, celebrate their life, and begin to heal together.
At Chapman Funerals & Cremations, we understand the importance of these moments. We are here to help you honor your loved ones in the most meaningful way. Call us or visit any of our Cape Cod locations to learn more about planning a visitation that brings your community together in support and remembrance.
Laying a loved one to rest is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to endure, but we’re here to make it as simple as possible.